Changes

It all began in sixth grade, puberty was kicking in left and right and I was changing day in and day out, unfortunately, my classmates (girls and boys, but mainly girls) found it “amusing” that I was a bit chubby in the stomach and my eyebrows almost connected and I was bullied daily for for three years. The bullying, caused a great deal of anguish on my part and led me to go for days on end eating only 3 apples a day, developing acute bulimia and pretending to be sick as to not participate in swimming lessons. It was depressing and overbearing but I would never speak of it to anyone. In reaction to the bullying, I transformed into a bully myself in two incidents; which I remember like it was yesterday; I created a song with hurtful lyrics and read it to the class in attempt to put down a classmate and I name called another classmate in the center of the school gym. I regretted  those actions momentarily and luckily my parents, principal, and counselor then formed an intervention when they became in light of the situation I was going through. 

According to Anna Freud (p.37) defense mechanisms are unrealistic strategies used by the ego to protect itself and to discharge tension. Which was probably why I resorted to the act of bullying. Moreover, in the Social Learning Theory, Albert Bandura “emphasizes that children learn through observing the behavior of others and by imitating this pattern - a process referred to as modelling.” (p.41) Having being obsessed about fitting in to the cool crowd, I came idolize them and their actions; one of which was bullying; which is also an explanation to why I chose to bully back, fight fire with fire. Unfortunately, one of the main reasons to why those students found it fine to harass me stems from the preconcieved notion and power struggle of the SES. I didn’t come from the wealthiest of families or the poorest but I was still not decked out in designer clothes, with my nails done and my eyebrows shaped, which shunned me as an outcast in relation to the rich and rude bullies. Dolgin finds that students with low SES with respect to the school “will find themselves more and more socially isolated as they proceed through the grades and, as a result, tend to seek friendships with out of school youths.” (p.59) The association with these youth has many drawbacks, primarily that they are obscure and dangerous as well as highly influential in taking the wrong decisions. In “Hip Deep”, the story of “ Hunger’s Diary” really resonated with me, particularly how her sickness physically affected her. The weakness, tiredness, and all around pain are now a thing of my past. Now I am happier than ever, on the road to healthy and holding the word moderation so close to heart. 

My advice to you is to work hard as a teacher to make meaningful relationships with your students so that they are comfortable in delving into sensitive topics with you. As teachers we should always be on the lookout for our students' developments whether physical, cognitive, social or emotional, and provide suggestions and helpful advice for them to cope with the adolescent changes they are faced with. The lesson to adopt from this piece is embedded in this quote:

“Lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at you.”

 -David Brinkley